Usually, I am too busy bashing disgusting pedophiles to even think about the other side of things; the kind of people who struggle each day desperate to not act on their condition and commit child abuse, but today that is all going to change. After all, it is my job as a freelance writer to try to explore all perspectives and while I typically write about child abuse with absolutely no sympathy what-so-ever, my boyfriend recently came across a story on the news about a man named Todd Nickerson who struggles with the term ‘monster’ and ‘pedophile’ because although he is sexually attracted to children, he strives to be normal in a society that won’t allow it.
Todd Nickerson argues that being sexually attracted to children is a sexual orientation and I couldn’t agree with him more. This is exactly why I feel short jail sentences can’t change pedophiles that do commit child abuse because they are born sexually attracted to children and a jail can’t change that.
If you put me in jail, I’m not going to come out suddenly sexually attracted to females when I have been straight my whole life.
Very rarely do we discuss the kind of people who suffer from this condition and live every day, desperately trying not to act on what they have no choice in feeling; struggling not to commit child abuse. There are no resources for people who are sexually attracted to children; there’s no way for them to come out about their feelings without having to be judged or reprimanded. This could be why many people choose to act on their sexual inhibitions because if they’re damned if they do and damned if they don’t.
His extremely controversial letter to the world is brave and I can only say that because he has never committed sexual abuse or used child pornography, despite his genetics basically encouraging him to do so.
Yet, I’m not the monster you think me to be. I’ve never touched a child sexually in my life and never will, nor do I use child pornography.
He goes on to say that while many child pedophiles do act on it, just as many don’t. Could it really be true that these ‘monsters’ have the ability to not commit child abuse. Is it as easy as a man or woman abstaining from sexual intercourse due to their religious beliefs? If so, it only makes me angrier at the pedophiles who commit child abuse because it is clearly not that difficult to steer clear of victimizing little kids – or is it the title placed on all pedophiles that makes it so hard. Could society actually be encouraging pedophilia by clumping all men and women with a sexual attraction to children together, despite some never acting on their feelings?
Todd Nickerson was molested as a child by a man he calls Hans, and reading him describe his experience was almost like reading a handbook on how to be a typical pedophile, but it was a little different because even as a victim, he didn’t think it was all that bad. He did tell his Grammy which brings me to a different problem surrounding child abuse.
I raced back to Grammy and promptly informed her of what had happened. She deliberated over what to do, in the end asking me to keep it a secret from everyone, including my parents, and ordering me to stay away from Hans.
Although he told his Grammy about the sexual abuse he experienced, he didn’t see it as all that bad – nor did she. It was to cover it up; pretend like it never happened – something that both victims and child pedophiles have in common. They both suffer in silence because of what society has taught them.
He mentions that throughout his childhood, he sympathized with the predator.
I recall an event from when I was 11, sitting in the family jeep with my dad and his friend Andy when a news piece on the radio reported the sexual abuse of a girl, to which my dad said to his friend something like, “They should take people like that and place weights on top of their genitals until they smash.” Pretty horrific imagery for an 11-year-old to process, and I couldn’t help but sympathize with the abuser. After all, I could recall my own molestation perfectly, and I hardly felt it warranted that kind of response.
But he still never had it in him to place harm on a child, and when Todd Nickerson was outed for being a pedophile strictly as per his sexual orientation, he was fired from his job and was officially categorized as a horrific monster. The truth was that although this was how he was born, he lives every day eager to not commit an illegal act. Although, it seems that the struggle and category he is placed in due to his sexual orientation sometimes makes him question why he doesn’t just act on his attraction. Damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t. Could this really be the answer to decreasing sexual abuse?
At times I’ve wondered why I’ve even bothered to stay legal. Maybe prison would be better, even at the risk of getting shanked as a Short Eyes. At least then it would all be over with. But alas, I could never hurt a child. No matter what, some small part of me still holds out hope that things will go back to normal,
Todd Nickerson continues to live as a non-offending pedophile, with the help of an organization called Virtuous Pedophiles; an organization that supports the good pedophiles who desperately need the encouragement to create and live a normal life, instead of being exactly what society tells them that they are.
Those individuals who have the courage to come forward and lay claim to this affliction with the understanding that they only want to use their pedo powers for good should be commended, not hated and feared.
See Todd Nickerson’s full letter here.
For myself and for many of you reading this, it is absolutely unfathomable to think of supporting someone who wants to molest children or that does molest children. Hands down; we categorized them to same – sick, twisted monsters who are deemed for hell. However, there are people out there that do what it is in their power to follow the right path despite their sexual orientation, and I for one think that they deserve support and guidance instead of being ostracized by the community. If they commit child abuse, that’s a whole different story but maybe by helping those who are living with this “disease” that many of them describe as being handicapped, we all can decrease the amount of child abuse victims out there.
After all, if they’re damned if they do or damned if they don’t, why would they put themselves through the struggle of staying straight?
Many people are saying that this story is atrocious and that these people have yet to act.
What are your thoughts on the pedophiles that don’t commit child abuse? Do you see them all as the same, or do they deserve to have separate categories?
Share your comment down below.