Overcoming Emotional Barriers to Dating as a Single Parent

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Dating as a single parent often comes with all kinds of new fears and anxiety that you may have never experienced before. From overcoming worries about being judged to fear of rejection, overprotectiveness of the children, trust issues, concerns about children’s reactions, loyalty to the ex, and problems rediscovering their identity outside of being a parent, the struggle is real. But that doesn’t mean that you have to sacrifice your love life because you’re now a parent. While your children’s’ wellbeing should always be your top priority, you matter too! So, let’s go over some common emotional barriers experienced when trying to date again and how to work through them.

The Struggles of Dating as a Single Parent

As a single parent, you have all kinds of demands – from running a household and holding down a job to your most important task: raising kids. As if those challenges weren’t enough already, you may also face additional emotional barriers unique to your situation. Like can include feeling lonely and isolated, and wanting to find a partner again.

Unfortunately, the desire to want to date again after having kids is often met with some personal-push back. Many single parents feel guilty about dividing their attention between their children and a potential partner, fear rejection, and have insecurities about dating since it’s been so dang long for them. If this sounds like you, you aren’t alone.

A recent study of around 750 single parents reveals insight into common issues ¹. More than 60% of the parents surveyed were not actively looking for a relationship.

As for those who were looking for love, they found the time to date when the kids were with their exes (34%), at a friend or relative’s house (33%), with a babysitter (23%), or at a sleepover (19%).

Over 30% of single moms and dads wanted to date other single parents, which was far less common with childless singles. Other research shows that 15% of single people would never date a single parent.

The Emotional Barriers of Dating as a Single Parent

Dating as a single parent comes with many unique emotional challenges. Balancing the responsibilities of raising a child while navigating new romantic relationships can stir feelings of guilt, fear of rejection, or concerns about vulnerability. Many single parents struggle with prioritizing their own needs alongside their child’s, often facing anxiety about how a new relationship may affect their family dynamics. Understanding and addressing these emotional barriers is essential for creating healthy connections and maintaining a positive outlook on love and parenthood.

Let’s go over some common emotional barriers and tips for overcoming them.

1. Being Ghosted/Rejected

Fear of rejection is quite common for single parents dating, especially with how prevalent ghosting has become, on and off dating sites. As of 2024, 13%-23% of adults have been ghosted in a romantic relationship ². On average, 30% of the general population has ghosted someone, been ghosted, or both.

Coping with being ghosted can be challenging, but it’s important to prioritize your emotional well-being. Start by acknowledging your feelings, whether it’s confusion, frustration, or sadness, and avoid blaming yourself for the other person’s behavior. Focus on self-care by engaging in activities that bring you joy and comfort, such as spending time with supportive friends or pursuing hobbies. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that ghosting says more about the ghoster’s issues than your worth. Lastly, avoid dwelling on unanswered questions and move forward with confidence.

2. Protectiveness

When dating as a single parent, protectiveness often comes from the desire to shield your child from potential instability and emotional harm. It’s natural to want to be cautious, but this protectiveness can sometimes hold you back from forming meaningful relationships.

To overcome it, take things slow, introduce new partners gradually, and ensure they respect your parenting boundaries. Communicate openly with your child, helping them feel secure. It’s also important to trust your instincts while remaining open to the possibilities of new love.

3. Trust issues

Trust issues are common when dating as a single parent, often stemming from past relationships and the desire to protect both yourself and your child. These concerns can make it difficult to fully open up to new partners. To overcome trust issues, take time to build trust gradually through honest communication, set healthy boundaries, and be mindful of your emotional triggers. It’s also important to trust your judgment while allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to explore a new relationship at your own pace.

4. Anxiety over Children’s reactions

When dating as a single parent, children’s reactions can vary from curiosity to anxiety, especially if they fear changes to their routine or parental attention. Some kids might feel threatened by a new partner, while others could be excited about the possibility of more family connections.

To ease the transition, it’s important to communicate openly with your child about the situation, reassuring them that their place in your life remains secure. Gradually introducing your partner and allowing the relationship to develop at a comfortable pace for everyone can help manage these emotions.

5. Loyalty to the ex

Loyalty to an ex can create emotional hurdles when dating as a single parent, especially if the relationship ended amicably or if co-parenting requires frequent interaction. These feelings can manifest as guilt or hesitation to move forward with someone new. To overcome this, it’s important to reflect on your current relationship with your ex and set clear emotional boundaries. Allow yourself to embrace the possibility of new love, while maintaining a healthy co-parenting relationship that prioritizes your child’s well-being without holding you back from forming new connections.

Final Thoughts on Dating as a Single Parent

Dating as a single parent may come with emotional challenges, but it also offers the chance for growth, self-discovery, and new connections. While balancing your child’s needs, your past experiences, and a new relationship can feel overwhelming, embracing patience and clear communication can help you navigate this journey. By addressing emotional barriers like guilt, trust issues, or protectiveness, you can create space for both your personal happiness and your family’s well-being. In time, you’ll find that love and parenthood can harmoniously coexist.

References:

1. Church, Carol. “Single Parents and Dating: What’s It Like Out There?” SMART Couples, University of Florida Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences, https://smartcouples.ifas.ufl.edu. Accessed 12 Sept. 2024.
2. Timmermans, Elisabeth, et al. “Ghosting: Abandonment in the Digital Era.” MDPI, 2024, www.mdpi.com. This study found that between 13% and 23% of adults reported being ghosted in a romantic relationship, while 30% of the general population had ghosted someone, been ghosted, or both.