You’re likely curious as to why I’m breaking down the 13 Reasons Why main message, and all of your questions are answered in my intro to the 13 hidden messages. Once you’ve gone through the previous
tapes blogs, it’s time to hear what I reveal on the fourth tape.
Here is the fourth message hidden within the 13 Reasons Why main message.
Tape 4: You Never Know What Someone Else is Going Through
You’ve heard it before, ‘Never judge someone until you’ve put yourself in their shoes’. This old saying has been passed down for centuries and centuries because it’s true. One thing the 13 Reasons Why main message definitely placed emphasis on is that you never know what someone else is going through.
Why is this important, you ask? There are two reasons.
Someone could be hiding their true intentions
As humans, we put on a face. We like to pretend that everything’s okay. Throughout our lives, we’ve been secretly taught to hide our emotions.
Boys don’t cry.
You throw like a girl.
If you fall, you get up and shake it off.
Girls are drama queens.
If a boy cries, he’s gay.
All of these impact the way we feel about showing our true emotions. A perfect example of this is with Justin who is prominent within the 13 Reasons Why main message. At school, he’s the hot, popular jock everyone wants to be friends with but at home, he’s nothing. He’s regularly beaten up – mentally, emotionally, and physically – by his drug-addicted mother and her boyfriends. No one at the school, not even his closest friends knew how he was feeling because he slapped on a smile every morning – just as he’s always been taught to do.
Often times, the happiest people are the loneliest. This is another message found within the 13 Reasons Why main message surrounding Zach. He’s a popular guy, but one of the loneliest people in the world. In fact, he’s nice to Hannah until she turns him down because of her own insecurities. He too, could learn from the concept that you never know what’s going on in someone’s life and why they act the way they do.
Life isn’t always what it seems. This is important for everyone to recognize because someone may act like everything is fine when in reality, the world around them is crashing down.
There’s a reason behind one’s actions and it’s not your fault
The way someone is acting may not always be the result of them being a bad person. It could very well be that they’re unsure as to how to handle their own demons. While in no way is this an excuse to treat others poorly, it is a message hidden within the 13 Reasons Why Main message that needs to be recognized.
In a later episode of Thirteen Reasons Why, Clay snapped on Hannah when she tried telling him about the stop sign accident. He snapped because his friend just died in the accident and took his depression, angst, and anger out on her.
Another example is when Jessica slapped Hannah after calling her a slut. Jessica reacted this way because she had her own internal demons and insecurities.
While there’s no denying Bryce is an absolute monster, I can almost guarantee the next season of 13 Reasons Why will reveal how he became this way. My theory is that he’s been neglected by his rich parents who are evidently never around. He doesn’t feel love; he doesn’t know love; so rape and sex are two of the same things to him.
I always say to people, “You just never know what someone else is going through”. People react to different situations in different ways. Some get quiet, others get aggressive, some mask their emotions with anger and hate, whereas others subconsciously bring other people down to make themselves feel better. While we all suffer differently, we all suffer.
So, try to give people the benefit of the doubt. If someone is being malicious and unkind, they could very well have something else going on in their life that has made them react this way. Again, it’s no excuse but it does happen.
It’s okay to not be okay
Forget everything you’ve been subconsciously taught in the past. It is okay to not be okay. It is okay to cry. Crying doesn’t make you gay, weak or a drama queen. It’s okay to talk about your past or the things hindering your quality of life. No one will ever been happy every minute of their life; sadness, weakness, misery, and unhappiness are all emotions we have to experience in order to understand what happiness is.
Just think – if you never know sadness, you’ll never know happiness.
Hiding who you really are and what you’re truly feeling never has a positive outcome. Be authentic to yourself, be kind to others, and set yourself up for a great, quality life. It starts with self love. Don’t be afraid to tell someone you’re not okay.
Pay attention to the things around you and remember that there might be something else going on in the lives of those around you. You never know if the person yelling at you in the car beside you just lost their job or if the unkind cashier at the grocery store just broke up with her boyfriend or if your friend is being mean to you because something happened to them that’s darkening their soul. You just never know.
So, give people the benefit of the doubt and more importantly, be kind regardless of how unpleasant someone else is. You could be saving a life.
We all need to learn how to be a bit more compassionate and understanding to not only others but to ourselves at well.
If you or someone you know is suffering, please contact the Canadian National Suicide Helpline.
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