There’s plenty of good, bad, and ugly found throughout the 13 Reasons Why message, which lead me to where I am today – on tape 6 of my anxiety blog. Read my intro to the 13 hidden messages and you’ll understand the rest. Once you’ve gone through the previous
tapes blogs, everything will fall into place…
Tape 6: If I kill myself, then they’ll be sorry
Oh, the 13 Reasons Why message is full of hidden secrets you don’t even know you’re brain is receiving. The idea that suicide can be your ultimate revenge is one of them – and one that no one should listen to.
The truth is, revenge is pointless, especially if you’re dead.
Throughout the 13 Reasons Why message, Hannah takes on this “then, they’ll be sorry” type of attitude. The episodes reveal the idea that killing yourself is the only way to make people pay for what they’ve done to you, and this is wrong and inaccurate in many ways. Don’t be fooled. Losing your life isn’t going to bring change.
You never get to experience the glorious taste of revenge
I’ll start by saying that revenge isn’t the answer but I know there’ll still be people out there reading this, thinking that revenge is the solution to all of their problems. So, let’s pretend for a second that revenge is an appropriate way to handle your situation. If you kill yourself so people have to face the consequences of their actions, it really doesn’t matter because you aren’t alive. You can’t see them receiving your bullies receiving a glorious taste of revenge and more importantly, you killing yourself doesn’t mean they’ll be sorry. The only way to ensure people receive the backlash they deserve is to remain alive, speak out, and seek justice. Otherwise, you’re killing yourself for no reason at all. Dying doesn’t mean people will feel sorry for you or for what they did.
You have to remember, the type of people who treat others so unkindly and who make it their sole purpose in life to bully someone else isn’t going to snap out of their self-centered, malicious state of mind. Sure, they might feel bad but nothing else will change. They won. You let them win by taking yourself out of the competition.
The bullies I know who contributed to someone’s suicide
Let me put this into perspective for you. Someone committed suicide when I was in high school and I knew the person who bullied them. After this person passed away, rumours were floating around the hallways about how “bully” was mean to the person who died. In fact, people thought the “bully” was a complete dick for doing what they did to that person.
But guess what? The rumours lasted a week; people judged the bully for no more than a couple of days, and the bully felt bad for 5 days. But then the weekend hit and come Monday, everyone was onto a new topic.
Suicide didn’t make anything right. It didn’t change anything. In fact, it allowed the bully to get off without having to face any consequences other than being judge for a couple of days. Why? Because the only person who can seek justice is dead, and that one person is you.
The best way to fight back against bullies is to prevail; the best revenge is success. So, stick it out – here on earth – and stick it to them. One day, you won’t have to see these people on a regular basis and they will get their karma. Like my third tape blog says, what goes around comes around, which is one secret hidden within the 13 Reasons Why message that I’m all for.
So, let karma do what it does best.
If you want people to listen, killing yourself isn’t going to do it
Another reason why this message hidden within the 13 Reasons Why message is so dangerous is because it teaches kids and teenagers that people will listen once you’re dead. After all, no one listened to Hannah but everyone listened to her tapes because she was dead. Some even listened to the tapes twice, again, because she was dead. I can see how the show has tricked you into thinking that killing yourself will make people listen to you. It might – in the literal sense – but not for the right reasons.
The reason each kid listened to the tapes is because they wanted to know what they did. They wanted to know how the tapes could affect their life, their future, their reputation. Not because they were generally upset about Hannah’s death and how they treated her. It was all about their own self.
Teenagers are self-absorbed aliens and they are wired to think (and even flip situations) to a be about them.
Courtney was worried about people finding out she was a lesbian.
Justin was worried about people finding out he let his best friend rape Hannah and how that would affect his chances at a basketball scholarship.
Sheri was worried about her parents finding out about the car accident and what people would think if they knew someone died because of her.
These are just a few examples that come from the 13 Reasons Why message but they’re accurate. Everyone listened to the tapes because they wanted to know they would affect their life.
So, revealing your hurt, pain, and suffering in a goodbye message isn’t going to make people listen. Even if they do start to listen, they’ll listen for all the wrong reasons and you won’t be here to defend your message. And does it really matter if people do listen after you’re dead? You need to be heard now and the only way to do that is to speak. Speak now, speak loud, speak proud. Shout at the top of your lungs and don’t stop until you’re heard. You’re strong and you’re powerful. You can do this.
You won’t be alive to back up your truth which gives your bullies full control
The damage isn’t done there. Once you’re dead, anyone can say anything. There might be rumours floating around about who did what to you or why you committed suicide but people will deny their actions. No one is going to own up to bullying the girl or guy who “killed themselves”. They will deny, deny, deny, and the more they do, your story – your message – will get pushed further away each time.
The only way to make sure your words are heard is to be here; to share your story and to fight back. If people misunderstand you while you’re here on earth, they will likely misunderstand you (possibly even more so) when you’re dead. This goes against your objective, as the bullies will continue living while your life ends. The bullies can continue to strip your reputation, spread lies, and gossip about what happened to you, and you won’t be there to defend yourself. That’s what it will come down to.
Now, I know this is a lot of information to take it – and maybe a little too honest for some of you. However, the moral of the story is that what happens after you’re dead doesn’t matter because you are dead. It’s not fair for your life to stop while the bullies’ lives continue. You dying isn’t going to make people see their faults. Your death isn’t going to make people listen. The only way to do that is to do it right now, here on earth.
Don’t let this message hidden within the 13 Reasons Why message trick you into thinking otherwise. Dying isn’t going to fix your problems or make people face their consequences. High school is only four years of your life and soon, you’ll be out of there with the whole world in the palm of your hands.
So, stick it out and stick it to your bullies when you go on to live an amazing, happy life. If you’re so far deep in the black hole of depression where nothing else matters except leaving this earth, it’s time to reach out. Be open about what’s going on in your life and if you want to get revenge, do so appropriately. Tell your principal what’s going on, talk to your parents, stick up for yourself – whatever you do, stay here and fight.
Things will get better. They always do. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but they do. High school is only four years of your life then you’ll have 40 years of pure happiness. You just have to get through those 4 years first – and you can do it.
If you or someone you know is suffering, please contact the Canadian National Suicide Helpline.