Someone killed themself because of me has been a recurring comment on the Anxiety Gone platform, which is quite alarming. It shows that not only are people committing suicide, but that people feel their actions are responsible for their death and now, are caught in a turmoil of stress, anxiety and depression themselves. So, we’ve dived into the topic to see what you can do when you think someone committed suicide because of you.
What to Do When Someone Commits Suicide Because of You
When someone commits suicide “because of you”, it can feel like you’ve committed first degree murder. So, what do you do now? A life has been lost and you believe that you’re responsible and are now dealing with an incredible amount of stress and anxiety. Here are some things that will put you on the path towards healing.
1. It’s Not Your Fault
The first thing you need to know when you think someone committed suicide because of you is that you are not responsible.We talked about this topic quite a bit when the first season of 13 Reasons Why came out because, although your actions and/or words may have been unkind, and in no way is that okay, no one can force another person to take their own life.
It’s important to recognize that you control two things in this world: your thoughts and your actions.
The person who died from suicide controlled the same two things: their thoughts, and their actions.
Again, we aren’t condoning any poor behaviour towards someone else.
The person who died from suicide likely had other contributors, such as chronic depression or problems at home that lead to their death. Again, in no way does that make it okay to commit suicide or to be unkind to others, but your actions alone likely did not drive this person to commit suicide.
2. Vow To Learn From This Experience
Inarguably, the most important thing you can do if you’re weighed down with the thought, “someone killed themself because of me,” is to vow to learn from this experience. Ask yourself:
- Why do you think they killed themselves because of you?
- What do you feel you did that contributed to their suicide?
- What do you wish you could change?
Perhaps you teased them about the clothes they wear or the things they like, maybe you cyber bullied them online or embarrassed them in front of the entire school. Determine what it is that you think you did that wasn’t right, and make it your goal to never treat another person the same way.
3. Journal Your True Thoughts
Coming out and saying, “Someone killed themself because of me,” isn’t something you likely want to share with the world, hence why you’re searching for answers online. We understand the fear associated with people knowing or thinking that you contributed to someone’s suicide. You fear the backlash; you fear the bullying; you fear the possibility of getting in trouble with the law, and you fear the same experience you feel you put the victim through.
If you are unable to reach out to someone you trust, we recommend journaling how you’re really feeling. Doing so will allow you to write and release your true thoughts and feelings in a safe place, instead of battling with the thoughts in your head.
4. Do Online Therapy
If journaling isn’t helping, you may want to consider seeking professional help. Again, this can be difficult to do if you fear people finding out that you think someone committed suicide because of you. This is why, in this case, we recommend doing online therapy on a reputable platform such as Better Help.
Better Help is completely anonymous, affordable and effective, to name a few of the benefits of online therapy. If you’re a student, you may feel like you don’t have the means to pay for online therapy. In this case, we suggest speaking with your parents about wanting to take online therapy. You don’t need to necessarily tell them why, but mention that you feel you need someone special to talk to about the things you’re going through.
5. Forgive Yourself
There’s no denying that there are few things worse than feeling like you took someone’s life. However, there is nothing you can do about the past. You can only make better choices moving forward and that starts with forgiving yourself. Again, professional help may be required to get to a place of self-forgiveness, but if nothing else, this is what you want to strive towards. Forgive yourself and make a difference moving forward.
6. Make a Difference
With the prior mentioned, you may be wondering how do I make a difference when someone killed themself because of me? After all, the life is lost and you can’t take that back. However, you can make a conscious effort to help other people who are either in the same situation you’re currently in or who are being bullied. Here are some ways to make a difference when you think you’re the reason someone died from suicide:
- Stand up for people being bullied
- Stop the actions you feel were wrong and encourage others to do the same
- Stand up against your friends who are bullying others
- Share your story to help others
- Teach others how to get through the experience you’re going through
7. Get Help
Lastly, it’s absolutely crucial that you seek help for yourself. Yes, what happened is terrible and you can’t take back what has been done. However, you deserve to heal to overcome this tragedy, just like everyone else. You are worthy of a guilt-free, anxiety-free life and the first step to achieving that is to get help in one way or another. Reach out to a professional on an online therapy platform or speaking with a guidance counsellor, or maybe it’s writing in a private journal or creating an anonymous blog to help others. Whatever it is, know that you deserve to overcome this, but it starts with you.
This blog post is sponsored by BetterHelp, but all opinions are my own. I may receive compensation from BetterHelp or other sources if you purchase products or services through the links provided on this page.
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