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As a parent, the last thing you would want is for your child to experience pain or negativity – that being physically or emotionally. However, anxiety is one of the most common mental health conditions affecting over 20% of children and adolescents. One of the main concerns regarding children and anxiety is that since the child is quiet and well-behaved, most do not recognize that their child may be experiencing such anxious thoughts. Following this, a relatively high number of parents seem to think that their child will ‘grow out of it’. This may be the case for few, but for the majority – anxiety will creep into teenage years and even adulthood if left untreated. The good news is, there are numerous different ways you can help manage your child’s anxiety and support them in the process.
Untreated Anxiety in Children
Untreated anxiety in children can quite often lead to depression and a decrease in quality of life. Some anxiety in children is normal and can be expected, especially if the child is starting a new nursery/school or in an environment different from what they are used to such as moving to a new, different area. Typically, bouts of anxiety include nervousness and a feeling of unease; this soon clears up when the child feels more comfortable and is getting used to the scenario which is making them anxious. However, if your child has an anxiety disorder, this will impact daily life – affecting both their thoughts and behaviour. At this point, you should seek professional help and attempt to tackle the problem before it becomes too severe.
Signs of Anxiety in Children
Whilst your child may too young to recognize why they are feeling the way that they are, there are some signs you can look out for in your child. These include:
- Difficulty concentrating, not being able to focus on a task for very long – even if they enjoy the task at hand. If severe, this can impact their education and school life.
- Not sleeping with ease or waking during the night for a number of reasons. This can include nightmares, intrusive thoughts, ‘not being able to turn their brain off’.
- Changes in appetite, including lack of or overeating.
- Prone to outbursts and being more irritable than usual. Not being in control when they are angry.
- Constantly worrying and having negative thoughts. Focusing on a particular negative thing that happened in the past and overthinking it.
- Physical aches, complaints of stomach aches and feeling generally unwell. Feeling tense and fidgety and using the toilet more than usual.
- Crying more than usual and feeling generally clingy even when other children in the same situation are okay.
Different Types of Anxiety in Children
There is not usually one reason in particular why a child may develop an anxiety disorder. However, ‘separation anxiety’ is quite common in younger children. Older children tend to worry about school performance, relationships, friendships, appearance, weight, puberty and health. There are a few common types of anxiety that can stem from childhood these include –
A particular fear: A specific fear of something (such as monsters, animals or school) can easily develop into a phobia (an anxiety disorder) which impacts day to day life. Though the fear may seem illogical to an adult, as a child it can seem real and extremely frightening.
Separation anxiety: Separation anxiety is a child worrying about not being with their parent or carer. This can make school and socializing extremely overwhelming if their parent is not present. Separation anxiety can start from six months of age. However, ongoing separation anxiety can usually be caused due to a reaction from feeling insecure, such as an occurring change at home.
School-based anxiety: Some children can feel more anxious that others when starting school. This nervousness can come from school in general, schoolwork, friendships, feeling different from others or bullying. Children may not always speak about their worries and concerns with you. Instead, they may complain of stomach aches and feeling unwell in order to avoid attending school.
Social anxiety: Social anxiety includes not wanting to be social with friends or family members, not wanting to go out in public or take part in team activities. Being shy is usual in young children and teenagers. However, social anxiety can cause simple tasks such as going to the shop seem impossible and terrifying. Children with social anxiety disorder tend to think they will do something embarrassing or be humiliated. Social anxiety disorder is more common in older children after they have reached puberty.
Generalized anxiety disorder: It is common for young children to have fears and worries. However, when these thoughts won’t go away, it can lead to Generalized anxiety disorder. Generalized anxiety disorder is a long-term condition in mainly teenagers and adults. This can cause worry around a whole range of events and some may find it impossible to feel relaxed.
Less common anxiety disorders: Post traumatic stress disorder and Obsessive compulsive disorder can sometimes affect children, both are more commonly found in teenagers and adults. Children are also less prone to panic attacks but is still a possibility.
How to Help a Child with Anxiety
Any form and severity of an anxiety can hugely impact a child’s life, from family relationships to their education. You should seek support from a professional if you feel your child is not getting better nor worse no matter what techniques you try, you think it may be slowing their development and learning or impacting relationships, they are feeling anxious frequently. Anxiety in children is typically treated with Cognitive behavioural therapy which challenges your child’s negative thoughts. Other counselling is also available through your GP’s recommendation (or privately.) Medication is also available for severe anxiety disorders. Although, it is not typically recommended for young children.
There are a few things you can do to help ease your child’s anxiety, including:
- Pay attention to your child’s feelings
- Stay calm when your child becomes anxious about a situation or event
- Recognize and praise small accomplishments such as socializing
- Don’t punish your child for making mistakes or a lack of progress due to their anxiety
- Try to maintain a routine
- Practice mindfulness with your child, allowing them to focus on the present moment should decrease the likelihood of them dwelling on a past event for too long
- Teach your child relaxation techniques such as deep breathing when they are feeling particularly anxious
- Do not make them feel as if they are not normal for experiencing anxiety, saying things like “grow up” or “I don’t understand why you’re nervous, it’s only…” will only further their anxiety.
- Be understanding.
Having an anxiety disorder as an adult is bad enough, having one as a child and not being able to fully understand why you are feeling the way you are is even more difficult. Listen to your child when they express their feelings and assure them that everything will be okay. Anxiety is a difficult road but with your support and care, they will get better!
